Is It Possible to Live a Beautiful Year in the Spiral of Love and Passion?

In the first article of this year, I would like to talk about the phenomenon of "love", which has no definite age or time. We are talking about a phenomenon that has been in every moment since the existence of humanity. In the spiral of "love and passion" that you all know, let's start with love. 

Love is an emotion for which many songs, poems and novels have been written, for which many pains have been suffered, and for which dizzying pleasures have been experienced in the time periods experienced since its existence. What we call love is a flood of emotions that does not fall into our hearts whenever we want it to. Love chooses its own time, place, person and everything. That is why it is not easily granted to everyone. It is difficult to define. It is not really known what it is. It is often confused with other emotions. To understand what is called love, it is necessary to feel it deeply and live it to the fullest. 

The most confused concepts in relationships between men and women are love, affection, passion and our habits. Especially many people mistake love or passion for love.

What is called love usually appears in our hearts as a sudden feeling. It is an instantaneous event. There is a lot of excitement, confusion, sexual attraction, etc. Just thinking about the person one is in love with, hearing their footsteps is more than enough to fill one with excitement. This strange feeling, love, is not something that happens over time. Couples who fall in love with each other begin to love each other before they have had a chance to get to know each other. The person one falls in love with is like a 'dream'. Rather than the real characteristics of that person, the person comes to life according to the characteristics that the lover has created in his/her own mind, the characteristics that he/she wants to see. For this reason, they say that once love enters through the door, logic goes out the window. 

Then, like a fish that has swallowed the bait, the person is in the grip of his/her emotions, he/she is now a prisoner. It is thought that "He" is the one who will fulfill all expectations. Since "love is blind", the beloved is perfect. Waiting for hours or traveling for kilometers to see the person one is in love with, even for a moment, is now a normal behavior.

Every time the phone rings, one's heart skips a beat. Finally, this time true love has arrived and it will last forever! Romance is at its peak. Thoughts have little to do with reality. Each of the couple thinks that what they feel is more than the other. That's why jealousy arises along with the fear of loss, the lover finds it hard to tolerate even talking to other people (of the opposite sex), let alone having the beloved with him/her at all times. 

Nevertheless, what is feared eventually comes to pass. As time passes, as the masks come off, as the real faces of the people are revealed, the excitement of love in the heart begins to wane. Even accusations of "you have changed" start to be heard.

Slowly, one party begins to distance themselves from the other, while the other begins to suffer from the panic of the possibility of loss. When the joint and sometimes unilateral efforts to return to the good old days, to the days of love intoxication, fail to yield any results, the reality is accepted, albeit with difficulty. Sometimes the steps taken towards separation can lead to uncontrollable things. Depending on the level of maturity of the person, emotions can turn into hatred, revenge, passion or acceptance. The rate at which love turns into genuine affection is low. This is only possible between 'mature' people whose personalities are fully developed, whose emotions are settled, who know what they want and adjust their expectations accordingly. Because people who have already gained integrity within themselves have no room for fear in their approach to love from the very beginning. They do not give way to false expectations or illusions. 

Everyone learns by experience that love is not permanent in nature. It flares up and goes out like a straw flame. People suffer because they did not experience it in the beginning and therefore did not know or accept it. If love still lasts, it lasts by turning into love. Those who transform their love into lasting love become true "lovers".

Another emotion that is often confused with love is passion. Passion is usually one-sided. Passion is selfish, passion is bondage, passion is indispensable. Passion is a destructive emotion in which there is no common sense at all. One pursues one's passion even knowing that it harms oneself. What are called love murders are actually caused by blind passion that is blindly nurtured within. God forbid passionate love! Once a person is infatuated, he continues his obsession with the object he idolizes, the object he knows he can never reach, at the expense of harming the person he thinks he loves. Time does not remove the existence of passion, it does not pass with time. Maybe it can only suppress it. But even if years pass, it is ready to rebel again the moment it is encountered. 

Passion is an aggressive emotion. Aggression can lead to suicide if it is directed towards the person himself/herself, or to murder if it is directed towards the bondage of passion. This is why passion is the most dangerous and consuming of the emotions that are mistaken for love. 

Also, over time, a feeling called habit begins to form between two people. You know, there are couples who have been on the same pillow for forty years and have never once said the words "I love you" to each other. Or when their partner asks, "Do you still love me?" they answer, "Would I have been with you all these years if I didn't?" This kind of long-term relationship is not based on love, but rather on habit. This feeling is a partnership of necessity for couples who continue to be together even though they are not intensely interested in each other because there is no one else to fill the void, who lack the courage to be alone, whose self-confidence is not developed and who are not open to innovations. Relationships based on habit are characterized by monotony, laziness and lack of creativity. Relationships based on habit can only end when a new habit is born that can be replaced.

Couples who cannot afford to break up because of fear of loneliness, even though they are not happily together, belong to this group. In other words, they think they are sharing their loneliness. Everyone can learn a lesson from what I have written so far. They can come to terms with themselves in their own inner world. 

Now I will tell you about a real love story. Those who know me know that I am a motorcycle enthusiast, that this pile of iron is the balance element of my life. Every biker is also a country music lover for the most part. One of the greatest love stories of all time was between country music legends Johnny Cash and June Carter. At least that's how I see it, and Johnny's letter to his love proved it by being voted the most beautiful love letter in the world! The beautiful June Carter met Johnny Cash when she was a successful musician with two marriages and two children, who had burned the hearts of many men from Elvis Presley to Kris Kristofferson. What followed was probably one of the most naive and greatest loves in history, and a movie was even made about it. It's called 'Walk the Line', in Turkish, 'Beyond Borders'. I highly recommend you to watch it. 

The lines of that wonderful love letter Johnny wrote to June were as follows: 

Happy Birthday Princess

We've grown old together, so much so that we think the same about everything.

We can read each other's thoughts. We can understand what we want without asking each other.

Over a long lifetime, we may have hurt each other a little; one of us may not have been understanding of the other.

But today I realize how lucky I am to share my life with the most wonderful woman I have ever known.

You will continue to fascinate and inspire me as you always have.

You should know that I am still attracted to you.

You are my desire, my being, my reason.

I love you so much

May your every day and every moment be filled with love. Do not hesitate to tell your loved ones that you love them. Say it so that love finds its way, so that love becomes love. So that your new year will be filled with love and affection. Won't it?

Stay with respectful love.