We have a beautiful country! Can we have a beautiful future too?

My first memories from the days when I regained some consciousness are about Adapazarı. I spent my primary school years and until the first year of middle school in Adapazarı. 

Even the first girl I fell in love with in middle school was from Adapazarı. She didn't know it herself, but it was just childhood, we boys would walk around saying, "I am in love with this girl.

Recently, we set up a whatsapp group with my primary school friends, including our teacher, with those we could find, maybe one day we will have the opportunity to meet again.

Actually, we also have relatives living in Adapazarı.

But if I were to go to Adapazarı today, I would probably only have to live in a rented house. We don't have any roots in Adapazarı. It is the city of my childhood, but how can I put it, it is a city of memories. 

It is partly my city, but partly foreign to me.

***

Izmit! Part of my childhood was spent in Izmit. 

Since we are from Kandıra, Izmit is actually not a foreign place to me. However, it was only later that I had the chance to live in Izmit.

During the middle school years and the Kuleli years, weekends were always spent in Izmit.

Again a lot of memories. 

Another girl I fell in love with was also from İzmit. Who knows where she is now. She had deep blue beady eyes. But she wore glasses with very thick lenses. She was extremely nearsighted. She would say, "Forget about love now, let's go for a walk" and drag me here and there. He loved traveling.

There is a fairground in Izmit. I think there were casinos in it back then. There is a lake in the middle of the fairground. We used to travel there a lot.

We also have relatives in Izmit. My uncle's son, my uncle's daughter. Many more relatives. Who knows who are the distant relatives that I don't even know.

And a lot of friends.

We even once had a house in Izmit that we bought. We sold it later.

Later, my mother also lived in Yahya Kaptan for years. Yahya Kaptan is different from Izmit in general. 

I also worked in Yuvacık for a while in earthquake housing.

Today, Izmit still feels like a very foreign city to me for some reason. If I go there again, I can only live in a rented house.

***

Istanbul Kuleli years.

Istanbul has a completely different place in my heart.

When I was little, I remember coming from Kandıra and visiting Topkapı, Gülhane Park, Hagia Sophia, Sultan Ahmet in Istanbul.

I even remember the Kaşıkçı diamond.

Anyway, during the Kuleli years, there was no part of Istanbul we didn't visit. I preferred to go home to Izmit on weekends, even though it was forbidden, but there were still more than enough weekends to visit Istanbul during my high school years.

I don't remember much from those years except for my boyfriend from Izmit and someone who I would later call a summer love for those days, but who later had a very special place in my life.

Later in my professional life, there were also Istanbul years. 

I was living in Kağıthane then. I also had a car. Work was very busy, but breakfasts in Anadolu Hisarı, Kanlıca, Bostancı.

And of course Kemerburgaz.

Most of our new generation relatives live in Istanbul. By new generation, I mean nephews and nieces, most of whom are close to my age group.

Nowadays, my older sisters are also in Istanbul. They moved from their home in Izmit to Istanbul, close to their daughter.

So Istanbul, yes, it is a city I love in my heart. Even though it is very big, even though you can get lost in the chaos of the city, it is a city that I am very proud of, especially because there are some big projects that I have worked on.

A lot of my friends are also settled in Istanbul. I don't know how often we can meet in that chaos, but Istanbul has a special place in my heart.

If I were to leave today, I would probably have to stay in a rented place again, but since I can't stay with my parents for a long time, there is probably no other choice.

***

Ankara! A city where I spent my university years, a city that has a very special place in my heart. The years at METU. And then the city where I started my working life.

Who knows how many friends I have in Ankara. Who knows how many friends I fell in love with during my university years and whom life has thrown us in different directions today.

One of my older brothers also settled in Ankara when I was at university. After he retired, he preferred Ankara to live in.

But can I live in Ankara now? 

I don't know, maybe. Ankara is a city with its own characteristics. 

Even though it is the city where I have spent most of my life before Moscow, for some reason I feel like saying that my favorite thing about Ankara is its return to Istanbul.

***

And yes, Moscow! I came to Moscow many years ago, prioritizing job opportunities and somehow life took shape for me here.

Just like in Turkey, I have traveled to many cities in Russia, but Moscow has always been my main city.

***

In Turkey, I left Kandıra and lived in Iskenderun, then Erzurum, Adapazari, Izmit, Istanbul and Ankara, but I also followed my older brothers to Ceyhan, Gaziantep, Tatvan, Kastamonu and Bursa.

One of my brothers settled in Bursa because of our surname. I also love Bursa very much.

Then to my other brother, to Balıkesir, to Lüleburgaz. 

Then to Izmir and Canakkale with our relatives.

To Erzincan, Urfa, Trabzon for work.

To Amasya and Burdur during my military service. 

Antalya, Niğde during my university years.

In the following years, almost all the Aegean and Mediterranean coasts just for vacation.

In short, I can say that I have traveled almost all over Turkey. 

I don't remember which other cities I have been to in between. 

For example, we stayed in the village of Şirince in Selçuk for a few days. The children were young then, we loved it very much.

***

I have worked in many cities in Russia, or at least I have been there for a certain period of time.

I have also been to other countries for short periods of time. Kazakhstan for example, especially Almaty is a very beautiful city.

But still, if you ask me where are you from, even though I have been living in Moscow for so many years, I think my heart is somewhere out there, in Turkey. 

***

This is how deeply I love my country, because my mind is full of memories from almost every corner of it.

Due to my profession, I have always tried to do something useful as much as I can. My only effort is still the desire to do something useful.

My children are trying to make a life for themselves. I have tried all these years to raise them as well as I can, and there is nothing much I can do for them now except a father's love.

As citizens of the world, they are both equipped to build their lives wherever they want.

For me and my wife, we now have a life in Moscow, where we have been living all these years. 

As I have written before, even though it is governed by an authoritarian regime, it still retains the characteristic of a welfare state from the old days, so it has many advantages in terms of a simple life.

In other words, I don't write all these critical articles, all these ideas, for any personal gain. 

My aim is sometimes to put something forward with the thought of whether my experiences can be useful to someone, or whether someone can benefit from the ideas that come to my mind.

I write some of my articles just to commiserate with you.  

I don't know how the result will be this evening. 

I wish there would be a result that I could say come on, lady, pack up your bags and we are going to Turkey.

Because we have a really beautiful country and I wish a government that will lead this beautiful country to a future where we can live in peace.

Today, unfortunately, a government with completely different dreams in mind has brought the country to this day by transforming it in a horrible way in an order that does not fit my mind at all.

I hope that tomorrow morning I will wake up with hope for a new future, free from my inner troubles.

Love and respect to everyone from Moscow