What is a commission anyway?

I have something to tell you, but how should I say it?

Actually, I'm going to tell you something, but I don't know how to say it.

Brother İrfan, why are you sitting so quietly in that corner? Won't you say anything?

I can't say anything, I'm listening to the news now, don't touch me. You talk among yourselves.

What should we do?

So who should start?

No, don't look at me, I won't start, it's not up to me, you tell me first.

It's not up to me either, all I can say is that the cost of making ends meet has increased a lot. At least it should be above the hunger line.

That's for sure, but last time I was lynched for saying so. This time I won't open my mouth!

But look, people sent you here to say these things. You are a representative of labor unions.

Okay, I won't say anything this time. Then they say a lot of things behind my back. I am happy with my situation.

My fellow workers, will you say something?

No sir, we said what we had to say in the last meeting.

We said that the rents had increased a lot, look, even Ms. Hafize confirmed what we said.

Sadık Effendi was already telling him about the situation in the market, you elders, look for a solution, we don't even have the strength to talk. We agree with whatever you say.

Brother İrfan, what will we do then? You say.

I told you not to touch me, you hold the meeting among yourselves, I'm listening to the news. (Brother İrfan has his ear to the radio!)

But it doesn't happen like that. By law, we need to determine the minimum wage by the end of the year.

How do we determine if no one wants to talk?

Dear Minister, at least say something!

In my opinion, let's say that it is left to the next meeting, the best thing is to announce the minimum wage, let's say that negotiations between the parties are continuing. Let's not forget to say that our state will not allow workers to be crushed by inflation.

That may be the case, at least while we are together, let this meeting be of some use. We could set the minimum wage.

Don't you, sir, as the employer's representative, want to say something?

Actually no, I don't want to say anything either. If you ask me, I am completely against minimum wage. I think the state should pay minimum wages! Don't let us get involved in these matters. I honestly don't understand why you invite me to these meetings.

Is such a thing possible, sir? Can this meeting take place without you?

Aren't you one of the parties?

Look, on the other side of the table, our worker brothers and on this side, you, the employer representative.

Actually, it is not clear what my minister and I are doing in this meeting.

Normally, you have to sit down and determine the minimum wage among yourself. All we have to do is collect the tax.

Okay, if it were up to me, I would also provide food in my factory, so I wouldn't leave my workers hungry. On top of that, these workers want more and more money every time. Ours is labor too, brother, is it easy to take care of all those workers?

Moreover, the state collects the world's taxes, even if it is minimum wage.

What else should I do?

There are many Syrian workers around, they are more advantageous to me. At least they're working to make ends meet.

That's why I don't understand why you invited me to this meeting. I think the issue is beyond me, do as you wish.

***

Dear Minister, at least say something.

I think we should ask Mr. İrfan. Mr. İrfan, does he say anything in the news? Hasn't the gentleman announced this year's minimum wage yet?

Dear Minister, I have my ears on the radio, I am listening.

Wait, I think he's saying something. Be quiet, I can't hear you.

Brother İrfan, look at social media, Mr. Elon Musk loves him very much, he definitely announced it on social media.

Yes, he says so on the radio, I think he explained it. Let me take a look too. How were we looking at the gentleman's social media? I think we were pressing that button. Where was the gentleman's account?

Hah, that's it, I found it!

You are right, he announced it on social media and said the minimum wage is 17 thousand 2 liras.

***

At the end of the meeting, everyone starts talking.

Union representative: I already said that it should be above the hunger line.

Employer representative: I think the gentleman has given a lot, this is a compulsion for us to work with illegal workers for minimum wage! We got burned, it was too loud.

Brother worker, do you have anything to say about this wage?

Workers' representative: We are hungry again! However, God bless the gentleman, my vote is for the gentleman in these elections as well.

Minister: We said we would not subject our workers to inflation, and we did what we said! Look, we increased the minimum wage by 49%!

But isn't inflation above this rate?

That's okay, we won't let inflation crush our workers. If necessary, we will increase the minimum wage once again in the middle of the year.

But Mr. Gentleman said that this time there is no increase in the middle of the year?

Well, if the gentleman said so, he must know something. We do not oppress citizens, we will increase aid if necessary! May God never forget this gentleman.

***

Curious meeting attendee who asks questions to everyone: Oh man, we won't have to hold another meeting this year, that's what I'm most happy about. These meetings really make me nervous. Memorize the script.

Calculator İrfan brother: I understand 17 thousand, but I wonder how they calculated the 2 lira they added to this queue? Look, I didn't understand that at all!

***

May the minimum wage be beneficial to all of us!

Now you can exchange 2 liras and spend them. But put those two liras aside. Don't waste them.

What did our ancestors say?

They say that a drop becomes a lake.

They say save the straw and the time will come.

They also say that you reap what you sow.

Some say that he who sows the wind will reap the storm.

Let's enter 2024 with good luck and leave our troubles behind. Look, the commission also determined the minimum wage. First of all, God knows nothing will escape them.

Everything is in commissions. Look, the commission even decided to take Sweden into NATO.

There are more bridge and highway increases in the pipeline. Would those increases be implemented as of the first day of the year?

That update delay was until the new year, right?

We will collect the raise commission again. The prices of everything from needle to thread need to be increased.

Sorry, we weren't talking about a raise, were we? Update, price update.

May the minimum wage be beneficial once again to the nation and our worker brothers.

With love and respect to everyone from Moscow.