What will become of the Absurdistan economy?

Sometimes people get overwhelmed at home and want to throw themselves out, and doing so has become a luxury for Absurd citizens in recent days. Many Absurd citizens have started to prefer not to go out in order not to spend money due to the decrease in purchasing power in the economic crisis. If you have a friend who is an Absurd citizen and can't be counted on when you are together, you can be sure that he doesn't have a scorpion in his pocket, probably because of the economic conditions. It is rumoured that there has been an increase in the number of citizens who liken a corner of their home to an outside restaurant or tea and coffee place. It is estimated that the number of spouses who alternately serve each other as waiters and waitresses is not at all small. This, too, is written on the good side of bad days as a fantasy.
In fact, the national income per capita in Absurdistan was somewhere around 13 thousand dollars for a while. However, Shendogan, who complained about his lack of powers at every opportunity, wanted to decide everything from the zoning powers of the municipalities to the organisation of public tenders, so he had a constitutional amendment made through political manoeuvres and took over most of the powers of the Absurdistan National Assembly (AMM). As if he was playing "Civilisation" on a computer, he tied all public institutions and organisations to himself and began to shape the state as he wished. As if this was not enough, he has started to tell the society what they should eat, how many children they should have and even their positions.
In the process leading up to the constitutional amendment, economic indicators started to deteriorate. In order to convince the public that only an economist like him could fix the deteriorating economy, Şendoğan used the slogan "give the authority and see the effect". This slogan of Şendoğan, whose political skills are quite good, caught on. Although the nation gave the authority but could not see the effect, it had the opportunity to get to know its midwife closely over the years. Economic problems, which were not felt intensely at first, were felt more and more day by day. As a result, a large part of the society was sentenced to unspecified house arrest. Naturally, Atilla İlhan's poem "Ben Sana Mecburum", which best describes this compulsory imprisonment between spouses, broke click records on the internet.
As the practice of voluntary house arrest became widespread, it became difficult to find enough alcohol to say "what will become of this Absurdistan?" due to the increasing tax burden on alcoholic beverages. There is a peculiarity to this saying. In every period when the people of Absurdistan lost hope in politicians, citizens who did not realise their own power would say "What will become of Absurdistan?" and cry over drinks. Since there was no hope from politicians in any period, this saying has become one of the traditions of the Absurd people. Naturally, small-scale laboratories were established in many houses of the Absurd people in order to maintain their traditions. The reflexes of the people of Absurdistan in difficult situations have been the subject of many epic stories. Although it did not revolutionise the scientific field this time, the interest of a large part of the people in science should be considered admirable. People who would not pass the exam if you taught them at school learnt the words fermentation and distillation in the school of life.
As the Absurd citizens, who pay about three quarters of the alcohol they buy from the supermarket as tax, numbed themselves with the abundance of cheap alcohol, an insensitivity developed in the society. In fact, the tradition of talking about the future of the country, which had become the slogan of a certain period, was replaced by "we will save the country, let's drink and get beautiful". In the meantime, the land of the country was given to foreign mining companies, the tragedies of people dying as a result of mining accidents, farmers who mortgaged their fields to the banks and broke away from production, parents who lived their whole lives like slaves for the education of their children, the destruction of the country's natural wealth, the destruction of forest areas, the plundering of olive groves, nothing could attract the attention of the Absurd people.
Such an apathy has formed that it is impossible for Şendoğan to create this environment if he wanted to. Some of the people applaud whatever he says. If he says, "I lowered the interest rate," they applaud. "I increased the interest rate", they applaud. He threatens almost half of the society, they applaud. Sometimes he uses insulting expressions, again they applaud. A part of the public has developed a miraculous method against all existing problems. They share posts on social media and make the government laugh, if not kill it. Since this post-modern protest method is a diluted protest like the national drink of Absurdistan, its effect is like a straw flame. One day, posts are made in droves to protect animals, and the next day, the negative effects of animals on human health become the subject of posts as if the previous day had not happened. At the end of the day, everyone goes from sleeping with their eyes open to sleeping with their eyes closed with the unbearable lightness of having protested as citizens.
The government, which is extremely comfortable in the face of this indifference, has started to completely ignore the devastating social dimensions of the economic crisis. They are giving mind-boggling advice to those shouting "we are hungry". Hotinbashi (equivalent to the head of Religious Affairs in Turkey) says that those who live in poverty in this world will be among the most comfortable in the next. Another one tastes the food in luxury restaurants for his people so that the Absurd citizens are aware of what they can eat when they go abroad. It is as if he throws himself into the fire for the people and eats lobster that comes on fire. Another one talks about the health benefits of reducing portions for the public, saying, "Look, I didn't reduce my portions, I got bigger all over". For public servants who think so highly of their people, they also provide some small conveniences. Free tickets on absurd airlines, free meals at the AMM restaurant, etc.
Mehmet Şimşir, who is also a British citizen, often takes new measures and makes announcements in order to solve the effects of the increasing economic crisis. Pensioners, who have been sentenced to voluntary house arrest, are traumatised to learn after many years that they are the main responsible for the economic crisis in the country. M. Şimşir, who gave them this devastating information, finds it appropriate to give them a pension that will allow them to buy only enough food not to die, so that they do not accidentally harm themselves. He explains this solution as a miracle formula that will fix the economy. A particular type of pensioner wearing a grey horizontal striped t-shirt continues to support Şimşir and Şendoğan, who appointed him, despite his hunger.
At the beginning of the article, I said that Absurd citizens do not have scorpions in their pockets, but I left out an important piece of information. After the complaints and complaints of the citizens, further investigations revealed that a different type of scorpion was nesting in the pockets of Absurd citizens. The scorpion, which has blood-sucking properties and is called "almond-whiskered desert scorpion" in Absurd Turkish, can find suitable reproduction conditions in the pockets of Absurd pensioners. It was announced by scientists that this scorpion has reached a high population especially in the recent period. It is said to be very difficult to detect because it is a micro-scale scorpion.
This scorpion species tends to spread rapidly from where it reproduces towards the pockets of wage earners. Unlike the known scorpion species, it does not leave the money of the people in its pockets to that person, but eats it itself. The government emphasises that the almond-whiskered desert scorpion is harmless and that it is a requirement of the religion of Hotism to feed it as well as possible instead of killing it on sight. Son of Shendogan even established a foundation to raise public awareness to keep these scorpions alive. The state also responded positively to this foundation and gave financial support. Later, this foundation buys a farm in the United States of America to research the different breeding conditions of the almond-whiskered desert scorpion. It also bought a skyscraper in New York to raise awareness of this issue in the world.
Hotinbashi said that the government should include Hotin's sensitivity on this issue in the education curriculum. Tarlalı, a supporter of the government, immediately made a statement of support for this view, which also found support from the ruling party. Tarlalı said, "The almond-whiskered desert scorpion is a cultural figure that has an important place in the history of the Absurd nation. It should definitely be included in the Absurd Education Curriculum. The Absurd youth should grow up with a national consciousness that includes the desert scorpion with an almond moustache", and explained the views of the Absurd Nationalist Pati (AMIP).
Tired of the dizzyingly fast-changing agenda in Absurdistan, which is pushing the limits of reason, I retire to my bed. The first thing I will do tomorrow is to take off my trousers, put them on the table and put a gram of gold next to them. This micro-scale scorpion loves gold very much. I hope to get rid of it if I can catch it, otherwise these economic conditions are unbearable. If that fails, I will travel to the depths of chemistry like the Absurd people and console myself by asking "What will become of Absurdistan?".
With respect and love...
Note: All persons, institutions and events in this article are fictitious. They have nothing to do with reality.