Return to Absurdistan

When people live outside the culture they are used to, they cannot be very happy. So I was not very happy in Seviyesiztan, where I left the life I was accustomed to in Absurdistan for 25 days. On the one hand, the pressure of being constantly envied and on the other hand, the test of a person who is accustomed to rulelessness with rules made me tired. I couldn't help comparing what I saw in every place I visited with Absurdistan in my mind. I am amazed at countries that take great care to preserve the historical texture and nature. That's why they were jealous and I was amazed while visiting Seviyesiztan. If we had this much green, the population of barbecue vendors per square kilometre would decrease.

When my return was approaching, part of my preparations was to pack a few pieces of chocolate in my suitcase, which I knew I would buy more expensive in Absurdistan. When I arrived at the airport and went through the pre-boarding search point, I was scrutinised out of jealousy, or so I perceived it. The officials seemed to have more of an arrogance on their faces than jealousy, as if to say "well, we'll just send one more back". Anyway, in the end I passed through the search point and passport control. After a quiet journey I reached my home late at night. Did I miss Absurdistan?

On the way home, I made some inquiries about the origin of the son of the motherland who had passed the cars waiting in the turning lane, signalled for a turn in the same direction and blocked the road. Although I did this out loud in the car, no one heard me, but I realised that I had not made such inquiries for 25 days and that I felt myself in the illegality of rules that I did not have to obey. Could it be that the rulers in Absurdistan were lying? Because the thoughts I had been carrying with me were changing.

After almost a month of calmness, I quickly entered the agenda. We can say that the agenda quickly absorbed me. The fact that the Absurd People's Party (AHP) came out as the first party in the local elections did not change the distribution of the seats in the Absurdistan National Assembly (AMM) (it could also be the distribution of gazelle skin seats) and the position of the head of the Absurds. Of course, there was a problem here. The people were clearly dissatisfied with the government, but the rulers had no intention of leaving. Democracy in these lands was like play dough that the rulers could mould into any shape they wished and put in front of the people.

Even though the Absurdist economy was in a difficult situation, the belief that this was all the work of foreign powers and their local collaborators found a lot of ground among the supporters of the Absurd Flight Party (AUP) and its ruling partner, the Absurd Nationalist Party (AMIP). However, it was also apparent to everyone that Mehmet Şimşir, who had been working with private banks abroad for years and was himself an Angilaz (people living in Angilistan) citizen, had come as a saviour and started working to put policies that represented an epistemological break with orthodox economic policies back on track.

However Mehmet Şimşir persuaded Şendoğan, the interest rate policy, which was responsible for the inflation in the country and the heavy picture in the economy, started to change. Interest rates were rising, the people continued to be impoverished, and austerity measures were announced one after another. Although the pensioners, who were held responsible for this horrible picture by Şimşir, complained about the erosion in their salaries, they were trying to live their lives resigned to their fate as there was no authority in the country to which they could complain. Suddenly, with an article added to an omnibus law in the parliament, the salary binding rates of civil servant pensioners could be changed retrospectively. Then, anyone who said "There is no law" in the country was given a hot pepper in the mouth and advised not to say such bad things again.

While many measures were implemented to save the economy, there were some areas that could not be touched. There was no saving on reputation, but for some reason, this reputation was not the reputation of pensioners, employees, tradesmen, industrialists, farmers, in short, the people. It was probably the reputation of those who exploited the pomp, luxury and extravagance that they did not deserve and would never see in their dreams again, and who imposed the set of beliefs they had shaped for this purpose on the society as religion and took on the role of its representative. Moreover, in order for this order to continue, the whole people were asked to endure more sacrifices. It was like a very unfair division of labour. Sacrifice for the people and profit for others.

Before my visit to Seviyesiztan, I too saw the arguments of the government as correct and justified. I guess the 25 days you spent in Seviyesiztan changed me too. I started to look at Absurdistan very critically. I started to realise that at this rate, I might become one of the unquestioning victims of a change in the penal code through an article in an existing law or in a future omnibus law. Anyway, let's continue to tell what is happening in Absurdistan.

Tüzel, the president of the AHP, which had come first in the local elections, seemed young, dynamic and intelligent. Therefore, he was in a political orientation that preferred to establish a dialogue with Şendoğan in order to reduce the political tension in the country and to put the pieces in place. Although some positive results of this started to be seen, there were different obstacles to the formation of the public's expectation of a softened politics. Although ideological differences prevented a coalition, they should not have prevented the search for common solutions to the country's problems. But there was a bigger obstacle than the ideological difference, and this obstacle was AMİP President Tarlalı himself, who was an open/closed partner of the government.

The arabesque lifestyle, which many people in the country could not find a prescription for salvation and shot themselves, made itself felt in Tarlalı's messages both in the media and on social media, with the flavour of one and a half spicy Adana. What was more interesting was the anachronistic environment created by "intellectual" writers and academics trying to interpret the messages. If you imagined that the conversations were taking place between two lovers, you could imagine yourself in a cinema in the 80s watching a film starring the arabesque music icons of the time.

Of course, for Şendoğan, the loss of AMİP's support in the government could have very negative consequences for both AMİP and the AUP. These consequences could have been severe enough, starting with a possible early election and ending with "why the hell did we do this?". The AMIP's lawless and mafia-tinged fly-by-night politics did not go well with the constitutional definition of the "rule of law". Although mutual extra-legal dependencies continued to darken the future of the country, they could turn into a recipe for someone to stay in power.

In the meantime, the Astra Football Championship matches started and I realised something else. Although Absurdistan is not a very successful country in football, the whole country seemed to be focused on the championship. Or someone might have thought that the public was tuned in like this in order to overlook something. Almost every company had to emphasise their support for the Absurd National team with their advertisements on all TV channels. Moreover, it was difficult to say that these were in a naive tone. It was as if the whole population was being pushed into a fan psychology with slogans that went no further than shouting in the tone of a tribune anthem. Of course, reaping the fruitful results of such a social psychology was a blessing in disguise for the politicians who had condemned a large section of the society to poverty by not saving on prestige.

I remembered how happy I was when I arrived in Absurdistan. In those days, it was a great pleasure for me to watch only the Absurd Television Corporation (ATK) and the Absurd News Channel (A Haber). Impatient to experience the pride of being an Absurd citizen, I applied and became a citizen. However, now I realise that the reality was very different from what I perceived at the time. When a friend of mine said, "Be careful, you are too conspicuous", I began to realise that I was slowly warming up in Absurdistan. Perhaps changing countries in a world that has become such a swamp of evil does not solve the problems, it only prevents you from seeing them. I wonder if I should try changing the world...

Disclosure: All persons and institutions in this article are fictitious.