The Person That I Want to Be

I Read a Book

The author of the book is Clayton Cristiansen, I don't know how many of you have read this author's book. But I have read it and carefully noted down his descriptions of human beings. After putting them through my own mental filter, I added my own comments and wrote these lines. 

Most people define success only by what they have. For them, owning a good house, a good car and living comfortably means being successful. Material gain is of course important, because to be below a certain income is misery. Not having enough money to feed oneself means groveling. It is not possible for a person living in poor conditions to talk about success or happiness. But making money is not the only measure of success. Although having a high income provides a comfortable life, there are more valuable and important things in life.

Clayton Christensen, a professor at Harvard Business School, is the author who best describes how successful a person is in life and how to measure it. According to Christensen, there are 6 steps to living a successful life and measuring it:

First step:

One needs to realize what motivates them in life. For example, a person who enjoys exploring new places and getting to know new people will be very dissatisfied if he or she is stuck in a desk job just because it pays more. Therefore, finding one's passion is more important than finding a job. First and foremost, you need to find out what motivates you.

Second step:

One must set a goal for oneself and move towards it. In order to be successful, it is imperative to stick to the goal and the path (strategy) that will lead to that goal, despite the difficulties and obstacles that come one's way. Because success cannot be achieved without perseverance and patience.

However, there are such situations that sometimes the calculation at home does not fit the market. Sometimes life throws up such obstacles that it is not possible to overcome them. In such a situation, insisting on the same goal and the same strategy is a waste of resources. As Seneca said, "We may not be able to determine the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails according to the wind and change the direction of our ship". Therefore, every human being should try new ways when necessary. When there are significant changes in circumstances or when valuable opportunities arise, each person can set new goals and new paths that will lead to these goals.

Paradoxical as it may seem, to be successful one must be an idealist who is determined and patient on the one hand and a realist who accepts life as it is on the other.

Step three:

Manage the resources we have effectively. The resources one has are not only monetary resources. People have resources such as health, time, skills, knowledge, experience, friends and social relationships. Most people spend days or even years wasting time, which is their most important resource. In order to reach the goal one has set for oneself, one needs to effectively mobilize not only one's time but all the resources one has. Only in this way will he or she have a chance of achieving the goal.

Step four:

The time one devotes to one's family and friends. People are happy to the extent that they spend enough time with their loved ones and spend time with them to the fullest. Most people neglect their loved ones as they strive to carve out a place for themselves in life and reach their goals. When I think of the balance between work life and private life, I always think of Can Yücel's poem "I loved my father the most in life", written to his father Hasan Ali Yücel, who was the Minister of National Education.

I'd be overjoyed if I got sick

If the fever exceeds 40, they will call you to Istanbul

Of course he wants to make amends, doesn't he, with his son!

I succeeded in this game of love when I had typhoid fever

Ohh, I said, I buried my nose in your chest

Until his last inspection.

As I run after that giant in flight

For other kinds of love, for wider loves

My breath, my idea, my life house

In life, I loved my father the most.

Thank you very much, Can Baba.

With my mind today, I know that the thing that brings the most happiness to people is the quality time they spend with their family and friends. Neglecting one's loved ones in pursuit of one's goal of success means missing out on life.

Step five: 

Develop a sense of empathy. In both personal and professional relationships, one should always put oneself in the other person's shoes. If a person can understand the perspectives of the people they are in a relationship with and see life from their point of view, it opens the doors to being both very successful and very happy.

Sixth step:

Raising one's children right. I think the most important responsibility of a person in life is to educate their children, if they have any. Every parent has to ensure the physical and mental development of his/her children to the extent of his/her means, and at the same time support their spiritual maturation. Raising children who can stand on their own feet, solve their own problems and develop themselves is one of the most important criteria for success in life. 

Conclusion

In order to be successful, one must both have certain values and act in accordance with these values. The abstract concept we call "values" is actually the compass behind our daily decisions. For example, when faced with a dilemma such as "making money or hiding the truth", a person who embraces honesty as a value prefers to tell the truth. A person who cares about making money will do the opposite. Determining what one's values are is the starting point. But just identifying one's values is not enough. The main thing is to show determination to implement the values one embraces without compromise. Acting in accordance with the values that one chooses as a compass for oneself makes one a person who, as Mevlana says, appears as he or she is and is what he or she appears to be. Reaching this level is one of the most important measures of success in life.

According to Christensen, a very important aspect of managing our lives is to be humble. Most people walk around with an inflated ego without realizing it. Not only does an inflated ego cause people to admire themselves or exaggerate their accomplishments, but even worse, it causes them to underestimate and underestimate others. 

Humility is a sign of self-confidence. Moreover, humility means admitting that one does not know everything and opens the door to learning new things. People with high self-esteem and self-confidence are open to learning, no matter what age or position they are in. People with low self-esteem miss the opportunity to learn and develop because they are worried about being superior to others. This is the conclusion I have drawn from what I have learned and from my life experiences. After all, the true measure of success is not how far one has come, but how much one has helped others. According to Christensen, the measure of a person's success is not the money they make or the fame they achieve, but the positive contribution they make to the lives of others. 

Another famous sociologist, Charles Handy, said, "A tombstone showing how many millions of dollars a person under the ground has earned does not impress any of the passers-by. What matters is what he does with those millions."

In my opinion, a person who does not make a positive contribution to his family, to the people he loves, to a worthy cause, or to people in need, is not worth a lot of money or a lot of fame. The real wealth is the positive touches and differences one creates in the lives of others.

Stay with respectful and love...